Hello,
Just an update of my 1st week back to work. It seems a bit strange to come back to a new manager, new director and a new position. I'm sure things won't be this calm again for a very long time. I am going to start Six Sigma training (Project Management Certification)and will be working on several projects for our department. I love to dig into things and find things that need to be fixed and put out "fires"/issues that arise for our groups and internal departments. I am really excited about this new opportunity.
Tuesday I felt like I was starting a new job and even had the stomach butterflies to go along with it. Of course there was no need, everyone was happy to see me, and I was happy to see them. I hadn't been in the office since the beginning of September. I worked from home until I went out on official leave, December 10th. I came back to over 5,000 emails though. Many of which I could just delete since they were issues that had been addressed and the fact that I had a new position.
Wednesday came and went with it being pretty uneventful, still just trying to go through emails......argh!!!!!! I don't think anyone picks up the phone to call if there is something that they need anymore. There are some days that I think technology has taken the personal side of business away.
Thursday was a bit more hectic, not only did I have to go to work, but Rachel had her middle school concert that night. She had to be at the school at 6:30, I left work early enough to get home to catch my breath, but traffic did not cooperate, so I came in the door with enough time for a potty break and to take the shine off my face by applying a bit of powder. No more than 10 minutes later we were back out the door, so dinner for me was 10:00 that night (thank goodness everyone else had eaten prior). Rachel did a wonderful job singing in the chorus. She had a bit of a solo in one of the songs from the musical Rent that they sang. She also played her flute in 6th grade band and then played again with the 7th graders, who happened to be playing a piece with the 8th grade. We were very proud of here. She also had special surprise visitors from Cincinnati, her Grandma and Papa Schwarz attended her concert. She didn't know, and neither did Isaac that they were coming, so they were both very surprised and of course happy to see them. They also did awards, and Rachel received the 6th Grade Female Band Student award. We couldn't be prouder of her. She is definitely going to challenge her brother, Darryl. They are becoming very competitive music wise. I think I ate dinner and dropped into bed on Thursday.
Friday used to be my least favorite day of the week, because it was jeans day at work and I never felt comfortable wearing jeans. Well this Friday, I shocked everyone and showed up in jeans. Losing 72 lbs. will do that to a person. The jeans that I wore I hadn't worn ever (my friend Leslie gave them to me before I left Cinti - I love hand me downs)!! A couple of people didn't even recognize me, because in years past I would never wear jeans! I was sure glad when the day was over. I could tell I was missing my mid-morning naps!
Saturday was a blur - I am trying to take better care of my feet, and since reaching the bottoms of my feet successfully is still a bit trying, I try to do a pedicure every 6 weeks. So I was off for my appointment at 12:00; arrived and she was running "a little late". Well a little late turned out to be about an hour late, it really was not a big deal since I didn't have any kids with me. Then when I was done, I dashed back home to pick up Isaac to take him with me to get something to make for dinner. Darryl's girlfriend was coming for dinner and I wanted to pick up something a bit special. We didn't want to embarrass him - so off Isaac and I went well the others stayed home and cleaned the house! I love the look and smell of a clean house - they did a terrific job. While somethings may not have been done the way I would have done it, I've learned to let go, that is small stuff and learned to appreciate that they do it!!! FAMILY THANK YOU FOR CLEANING ON SATURDAY!!!!
Sunday was a day for the boys to work in the garden while Rachel and I went to church. We came home, had lunch and then Rachel, Isaac and I were off to Bray's Orchard (our local fruit and garden place). We arrived back with 2 flats of petunias, marigolds, cabbage, watermelon, green peppers, squash, zucchini, oregano, basil, dill, parsley, rosemary, and sage. The boys had already planted tomatoes and broccoli. I did a couple loads of laundry, made dinner, and took a 2 hour nap and still was asleep before 10:30.
Our garden is doing nicely. We have picked strawberries twice and Russell is going to pick them again tomorrow. The boys have already planted tomatoes and broccoli plants. We have 25 more strawberry plants due to arrive on Thursday along with asparagus plants. Even though the asparagus will take a few years before we can even pick, it will be well worth the wait since I won't pay 3-4 for a bunch of spears that look like wood.
Well, the natives are getting restless. I made angel food cake on Sunday to go with our home grown strawberries and they are anxious for another taste of angel food cake......so I'm off to get dessert underway. Why I do this to myself I am not sure since the 7 yr. old will just get hyped up on sugar. I guess we will crash him by giving him some benadryl for his allergies. The pollen and mold counts right now are effecting us all right now.
Good night for now fellow blogger family and friends!
Love,
Tina
Monday, June 2, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
WERE BACK!!!
Hello,
Wanted to let you all know that we have returned from our Iowa trip. It was a good trip, difficult at times, but it sure helped the healing processes. Here is what I was able to come to terms with..... I had asked a week ago Sunday for prayers while we were gone and I could really feel God’s presence as I went through material things. I have come to grips with that the house is just a house, the people/person that made it a home don’t live there anymore (they are in a much greater place now), and the stuff is just stuff – no one can take our memories away and I don't need the stuff to remember. I also have decided that for whatever reason God felt that I shouldn’t be there with either when my Daddy died or for his funeral. I have had to just turn it over to him and understand that our heavenly Father is no different than our earthly parents (when we are younger), in that he ultimately decides what is right for us and we should not question his authority.
I am feeling more like the old me and the positive outlook on life has come back. I also returned to work today and the day went really well. I had been gone so long that it almost felt like I was starting a new job.
I would be amiss if I didn't thank our dear friends (actually they are pretty much like family) Mike and Robbie for opening their home up to our family of 5 for the weekend. I also got to see my sister, Toni. We also go to see my Aunt Sharon, Uncle Jim and cousin Macayla, whom we hadn't seen for several years. Thanks Aunt Sharon for hemming my lined pants, mending 2 pairs of pants and hemming Rachel's lined dress - you did an AWESOME job! I wish I had an ounce of your sewing ability, but unfortunately I didn't inherit that ability.
Above (in a new post I couldn't figure out how to get in this post). Here are some pictures that I took while we were stopped on our return to Kentucky. We were in Illinois at a rest area and they had a neat playground, the covered bridge and a hike to a tower on the hillside. I didn't make the hike, but I was able to do a pretty good amount of the driving.
Russell and I will be returning to Iowa for the auction on July 12th, we don't plan on being there for the entire sale, as I'm not sure I could handle seeing other people carrying away our family stuff (but remember, it is just stuff)!
Love to all from our Family!
Wanted to let you all know that we have returned from our Iowa trip. It was a good trip, difficult at times, but it sure helped the healing processes. Here is what I was able to come to terms with..... I had asked a week ago Sunday for prayers while we were gone and I could really feel God’s presence as I went through material things. I have come to grips with that the house is just a house, the people/person that made it a home don’t live there anymore (they are in a much greater place now), and the stuff is just stuff – no one can take our memories away and I don't need the stuff to remember. I also have decided that for whatever reason God felt that I shouldn’t be there with either when my Daddy died or for his funeral. I have had to just turn it over to him and understand that our heavenly Father is no different than our earthly parents (when we are younger), in that he ultimately decides what is right for us and we should not question his authority.
I am feeling more like the old me and the positive outlook on life has come back. I also returned to work today and the day went really well. I had been gone so long that it almost felt like I was starting a new job.
I would be amiss if I didn't thank our dear friends (actually they are pretty much like family) Mike and Robbie for opening their home up to our family of 5 for the weekend. I also got to see my sister, Toni. We also go to see my Aunt Sharon, Uncle Jim and cousin Macayla, whom we hadn't seen for several years. Thanks Aunt Sharon for hemming my lined pants, mending 2 pairs of pants and hemming Rachel's lined dress - you did an AWESOME job! I wish I had an ounce of your sewing ability, but unfortunately I didn't inherit that ability.
Above (in a new post I couldn't figure out how to get in this post). Here are some pictures that I took while we were stopped on our return to Kentucky. We were in Illinois at a rest area and they had a neat playground, the covered bridge and a hike to a tower on the hillside. I didn't make the hike, but I was able to do a pretty good amount of the driving.
Russell and I will be returning to Iowa for the auction on July 12th, we don't plan on being there for the entire sale, as I'm not sure I could handle seeing other people carrying away our family stuff (but remember, it is just stuff)!
Love to all from our Family!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
One Day Left and Counting for Iowa
Well, first of all I must brag on my 15 yr. old son.........he received a proficient at State Solo Contest last Saturday and on Sunday received Band Member of the Year for 2007-2008. As the Band Director, Mr. Osborne was talking about the student, once he said that he is only a freshman and already writing music, I started to get misty eyed (imagine that)! We are all very proud of him. Of course, by the time his name was called I did my best to not let my tears of joy flow as not to embarrass the poor lad. We all got a good laugh out of it and said if I could get that choked up about a band award, what will I do if he makes field commander (for marching band), little lone his high school graduation. He laughed and said that he would just make sure that everyone knew I was his "Aunt" and not his Mom.......gotta love teenagers!
Rachel is working hard on getting all her flute music down for the concert next Thursday. She is not only playing with her 6th grade class, but also playing with the 7th grade class, and singing a solo (possibly 2) for chorus. Of course there will be awards at her concert, so now she is really trying to work even harder so that she can come away with an award just as significant as her brothers. Last night we were so proud of her, she actually asked Darryl if he could help her work out a couple of "kinks" in her music. He does such a great job of working with her. We were in our room with Isaac and could hear Darryl clapping out the rhythm for her. When they came in we asked if it was all worked out and Darryl said she did a great job and sounded good.
Isaac's road trip was a huge success. I received a phone call from him as they were leaving the movie theatre and he was so excited. He was practically screaming on the phone. Mommy you have to see this movie.....it is so AWESOME! I think I lost my hearing for a few minutes (not really just kidding). I was glad that he had such a great time. Both he and Russell enjoyed the movie.
Well, tomorrow we leave for our Iowa road trip. This week has been really hard! Almost everything thing I see and or touch makes me cry. I've been trying hard not to watch much TV this week, because it seems like someone is always dying or terribly sick. As I type this post I am struggling with all the questions that come when you truly become honest with yourself and begin to grieve as God expects us too. I am mad that I wasn't there with him...why couldn't God let him live just a few more months when I would be better.....I wasn't there when my Mom died, why did I twice not have the opportunity to say goodbye and help them move on to a better life. Why do I feel like God is punishing me; when will this hole in my heart heal? Every time I enter our family room, I see my Daddy's picture and wonder why?????? If anyone out there has any good suggestions, I am open. I started re-reading the book I read when my Mom died, but somehow this time it is not happening. While I loved my Mom, I was not truly as close to her as I was my Daddy. I keep trying to make sense of it all, but somehow I don't seem to get far with it. I will let you know when we get back on Monday (possibly might have to wait until next weekend) since I will be going back to work on Tuesday.
We will take pictures and I will try and get new ones on here. One thing that Isaac is looking forward to is his John Deere tractor rides. A family friend and someone that I went to high school with is willing to give him a tractor ride. Isaac also wants to sit in a "big truck" like Papa drove (my dad was a truck driver), so I want to take him over to where Daddy retired from, it is just a stones throw away from Daddy's house so that he (and anyone else that wants to) sit in one again.
Well, I guess I will close for now, because it is becoming hard to type through the tears. I hope you all have a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend! God Bless our soldiers that have given the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom and continue to do so every day!
Tina
Rachel is working hard on getting all her flute music down for the concert next Thursday. She is not only playing with her 6th grade class, but also playing with the 7th grade class, and singing a solo (possibly 2) for chorus. Of course there will be awards at her concert, so now she is really trying to work even harder so that she can come away with an award just as significant as her brothers. Last night we were so proud of her, she actually asked Darryl if he could help her work out a couple of "kinks" in her music. He does such a great job of working with her. We were in our room with Isaac and could hear Darryl clapping out the rhythm for her. When they came in we asked if it was all worked out and Darryl said she did a great job and sounded good.
Isaac's road trip was a huge success. I received a phone call from him as they were leaving the movie theatre and he was so excited. He was practically screaming on the phone. Mommy you have to see this movie.....it is so AWESOME! I think I lost my hearing for a few minutes (not really just kidding). I was glad that he had such a great time. Both he and Russell enjoyed the movie.
Well, tomorrow we leave for our Iowa road trip. This week has been really hard! Almost everything thing I see and or touch makes me cry. I've been trying hard not to watch much TV this week, because it seems like someone is always dying or terribly sick. As I type this post I am struggling with all the questions that come when you truly become honest with yourself and begin to grieve as God expects us too. I am mad that I wasn't there with him...why couldn't God let him live just a few more months when I would be better.....I wasn't there when my Mom died, why did I twice not have the opportunity to say goodbye and help them move on to a better life. Why do I feel like God is punishing me; when will this hole in my heart heal? Every time I enter our family room, I see my Daddy's picture and wonder why?????? If anyone out there has any good suggestions, I am open. I started re-reading the book I read when my Mom died, but somehow this time it is not happening. While I loved my Mom, I was not truly as close to her as I was my Daddy. I keep trying to make sense of it all, but somehow I don't seem to get far with it. I will let you know when we get back on Monday (possibly might have to wait until next weekend) since I will be going back to work on Tuesday.
We will take pictures and I will try and get new ones on here. One thing that Isaac is looking forward to is his John Deere tractor rides. A family friend and someone that I went to high school with is willing to give him a tractor ride. Isaac also wants to sit in a "big truck" like Papa drove (my dad was a truck driver), so I want to take him over to where Daddy retired from, it is just a stones throw away from Daddy's house so that he (and anyone else that wants to) sit in one again.
Well, I guess I will close for now, because it is becoming hard to type through the tears. I hope you all have a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend! God Bless our soldiers that have given the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom and continue to do so every day!
Tina
Friday, May 16, 2008
Hello from Kentucky
Hi Everyone,
Just a quick update and I promise on Sunday that I will try and get some updated pictures posted! I went to the Neurosurgeon on Monday and had an MRI and received a clean bill of health!!! PRAISE THE LORD FOR ANSWERED PRAYERS! I am still having a bit of hip and leg pain, but that is to be expected since the nerve was so severely pinched. The doctor said that within the next couple of weeks and by continuing to push myself to do more, it should get better. I am returning to work on the 28th.
Tomorrow, Darryl, Russell and Isaac will be going to Eastern Kentucky University for Darryl to play his state solo piece. We are so proud of him and his accomplishments. He has also decided to try out for field commander for marching band this year. Rachel and her friend Brittney are baking for our Band Fish Fry tomorrow. So far they have made 3 batches of brownies, a strawberry cake, a confetti cake (reminds me of when my Granny would make me the confetti angel food cake for my birthday), and a marble bundt cake. We have 2 more cakes to go!
I am making dinner tonight as Russell and Isaac are having a night out. They went out for dinner and are seeing Speed Racer at this very moment! Isaac didn't know where they were going, but that they were taking a "road trip". He will come home one very happy little boy. Unfortunately being 7 with a 15 yr. old and an almost 13 yr. old in the house there is not much that is about him, so this was the perfect opportunity.
We will be leaving on Friday the 23rd for Iowa; this is going to be one hard trip. I know why I am going and while I have to be an adult, I want to be a child and say please, I really don't want to go. This is going to be so hard, and leaving will be even harder as I will be saying good-bye to lots of memories and "stuff" that I just can't keep that was such an important part of my life. Plus I have to really face the truth that my daddy is really gone and that this is just not a bad dream. I ask for your prayers for our entire family for the next week and half as I am already very emotional just thinking about why we are going back.
Well, for someone who said this would be short, I guess once again my fingers just kept on moving and the words were flowing, not elegantly, but none the less were flowing.
Until Later......Love,
Tina
Just a quick update and I promise on Sunday that I will try and get some updated pictures posted! I went to the Neurosurgeon on Monday and had an MRI and received a clean bill of health!!! PRAISE THE LORD FOR ANSWERED PRAYERS! I am still having a bit of hip and leg pain, but that is to be expected since the nerve was so severely pinched. The doctor said that within the next couple of weeks and by continuing to push myself to do more, it should get better. I am returning to work on the 28th.
Tomorrow, Darryl, Russell and Isaac will be going to Eastern Kentucky University for Darryl to play his state solo piece. We are so proud of him and his accomplishments. He has also decided to try out for field commander for marching band this year. Rachel and her friend Brittney are baking for our Band Fish Fry tomorrow. So far they have made 3 batches of brownies, a strawberry cake, a confetti cake (reminds me of when my Granny would make me the confetti angel food cake for my birthday), and a marble bundt cake. We have 2 more cakes to go!
I am making dinner tonight as Russell and Isaac are having a night out. They went out for dinner and are seeing Speed Racer at this very moment! Isaac didn't know where they were going, but that they were taking a "road trip". He will come home one very happy little boy. Unfortunately being 7 with a 15 yr. old and an almost 13 yr. old in the house there is not much that is about him, so this was the perfect opportunity.
We will be leaving on Friday the 23rd for Iowa; this is going to be one hard trip. I know why I am going and while I have to be an adult, I want to be a child and say please, I really don't want to go. This is going to be so hard, and leaving will be even harder as I will be saying good-bye to lots of memories and "stuff" that I just can't keep that was such an important part of my life. Plus I have to really face the truth that my daddy is really gone and that this is just not a bad dream. I ask for your prayers for our entire family for the next week and half as I am already very emotional just thinking about why we are going back.
Well, for someone who said this would be short, I guess once again my fingers just kept on moving and the words were flowing, not elegantly, but none the less were flowing.
Until Later......Love,
Tina
Monday, April 28, 2008
I Really Didn't Fall of the Face of the Earth
Hi Everyone,
This is a very emotional post for me, so please bear with me as I ramble on! I think God is telling me if I write what I am feeling it will help me heal and cope.
After my last post, I once again became every ill and couldn't move (only a week and a half after being home). This time when we called the Neurosurgeon his nurse said that he was on call at Baptist East and I needed to get their immediately! Unfortunately, Russell could not even get me in the van, so it required an ambulance ride (at the tune of $887) at 45 mph as for once this past winter we were getting a pretty heavy snowfall and the roads were very slick so a 45 minute ride turned into almost 2 hours. Getting admitted took forever, I'm glad I wasn't dying (so I thought).
I once again had developed a staph infection and this time is was more serious than the last. There were no warning signs or anything. So they scheduled another MRI to figure out how bad and by now the pain was uncontrollable. I was scheduled for surgery the next day and ended up with drain tubes and was considered "contagious" so I was placed in a private room. While they were dealing with the staph infection I decided to start spiking temperatures of over 103 degrees, which resulted in having a cooling blanket put on my bed and being diagnosed with a "blood infection". Later to be told by the Infectious Disease doctor that it was e-coli....how in the world I got that I don't know. I was in the hospital for a pretty long time and on major pain medication and wasn't a very pleasant person. I came home with a pic-line and IV antibiotics and had home health physical therapy, occupational therapy and a nurse that came every Monday to change the pic-line dressing and draw blood to make sure that the infection was going away. I have now been pic-line free for 4 weeks!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!
During my last stay, I received word that my daddy's cardiologist had suggested that they put in a pacemaker/defibrillator. Daddy called to see what I thought and while I wasn't sure, he was excited and thought this would give him a better shot at a longer life (as they had figured out his heart would beat at 180, go to 70, then go to 30, then stop, and start the cycle all over again). Unfortunately, God decided that it was time for Daddy to come before the surgery could even be performed. We discussed his having the surgery at the beginning of the week and by that Thursday I received a call from the hospital telling me they didn't think that he would make it through the night! I felt horribly guilty that I who having my own crisis couldn't be there with him.....he was not only my Daddy, but my best friend!!!! I was able to talk with him, however he could not even respond to me at this point. I feel very guilty because I asked him to hang in there until I could be with him, unfortunately (or fortunately) God decided that the 23rd of February was his day to be reunited with my Mom whom he had missed for the last 9 years and his father whom he lost 41 years ago. I attempted to plan his funeral while being in a "drugged" state and was unable to attend. I just have to have faith that God knew what he was doing and there was a reason that I was not meant to be there with him or attend the funeral. The grieving processes is so different for me this time, and much harder than when I lost my Mom. On several occasions I have picked up the phone to call, dialed the number only to realize that he is not there. We are going to go back to Iowa over Memorial weekend to go through things and get as much ready for the auction as we can.
I am continuing to get better, but have a long road ahead as the hip and leg pain make sitting for more than 5-10 minutes almost unbearable (thank goodness I have such a wonderful husband who bought us a laptop so I could try and stay in touch with the outside world). I have been able to finally return to church which has helped my disposition very much plus a 72 pound weight loss - not a diet I would recommend, but it has given me the motivation to keep going, I have another 25-30 to take off.
Monday we go see the Neurosurgeon and hopefully get one final MRI and a clean bill of health and something to help with the leg/hip pain so that I can return to work....please pray that all goes well.
Now on to the kids......they are so wonderful. They were all very effected by my being taken in an ambulance the last time. Darryl has been wonderful and been so very helpful when I wasn't able to be there for them. He turned 15 in April and we had a great family party at my Sister-in-law's house with most of his Aunts, Uncles and Cousins there. Darryl made it to state solo/ensemble with his Oboe Solo and performs that next Saturday while Rachel and I (not much working for me) work the major fundraiser for the Band Boosters. Darryl had his best report card since I have been a part of his life....I was so proud of him, he still has a little room for improvement, but he really worked hard and it showed. Rachel's grades continue to be exceptional, she is so driven for almost being 13! She is going to be performing a voice solo during the end of year concert and not only playing 1st chair flute, but has been asked to play with the 7th grade also. She also found out that she is going to be able to be in the color guard for the marching band, so now we not only have one at the tune of $250, but 2, which equals $500, but Russell and I are committed to making sure that they can participate because it is something that is important to both of them, plus Mom is the Treasurer for the Booster Organization. Isaac, well he is still lovable Isaac. Being 7 with a 15 yr. old and almost 13th yr. old isn't easy. In fact this week we finally figured it out that Isaac will still be in grade school when Darryl graduates from high school. He loves to be outside and could really care less about school. He is so much like his Iowa Papa. In fact, I have some pictures of my Daddy as a little boy and with the exception of the clothes he is almost a spitting image of him. Only if we could afford a real John Deere tractor he would be the happiest boy on earth!
I cannot begin to express how much of a wonderful husband I have.....I thank God everyday for leading us together. Without him every that we have been through as a family these past few months would have been impossible. He is the love of my life and even though tomorrow is Mother's Day, for a long time he played both roles and took a college class! He did a fabulous job and feel like tomorrow is just as much about him as it is me, since I wasn't much of a mom for a few months.
Russell, in case you read this I want you to know that I love you with every ounce of my being and feel very lucky that you are my husband and mate for life. Without you I am nothing, plus you have given me a large family that I adore and love with all my heart, and who have accepted me and treat me so well. Your family is very special to me. Plus, you came with a wonderful son whom I just adore and love like he is my very own! I LOVE YOU RUSSELL - Happy Mother's Day, because were both Mom and Dad when I couldn't be.
Sorry this post is so long and seemed to ramble, but it seemed as if the Lord was urging me to put my feelings into words to help me and make me a better Mom and Wife! Also, a huge thank you to all of those who prayed for me and my family.
To all my fellow family, friends and bloggers who read this HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
Love,
Tina
This is a very emotional post for me, so please bear with me as I ramble on! I think God is telling me if I write what I am feeling it will help me heal and cope.
After my last post, I once again became every ill and couldn't move (only a week and a half after being home). This time when we called the Neurosurgeon his nurse said that he was on call at Baptist East and I needed to get their immediately! Unfortunately, Russell could not even get me in the van, so it required an ambulance ride (at the tune of $887) at 45 mph as for once this past winter we were getting a pretty heavy snowfall and the roads were very slick so a 45 minute ride turned into almost 2 hours. Getting admitted took forever, I'm glad I wasn't dying (so I thought).
I once again had developed a staph infection and this time is was more serious than the last. There were no warning signs or anything. So they scheduled another MRI to figure out how bad and by now the pain was uncontrollable. I was scheduled for surgery the next day and ended up with drain tubes and was considered "contagious" so I was placed in a private room. While they were dealing with the staph infection I decided to start spiking temperatures of over 103 degrees, which resulted in having a cooling blanket put on my bed and being diagnosed with a "blood infection". Later to be told by the Infectious Disease doctor that it was e-coli....how in the world I got that I don't know. I was in the hospital for a pretty long time and on major pain medication and wasn't a very pleasant person. I came home with a pic-line and IV antibiotics and had home health physical therapy, occupational therapy and a nurse that came every Monday to change the pic-line dressing and draw blood to make sure that the infection was going away. I have now been pic-line free for 4 weeks!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!
During my last stay, I received word that my daddy's cardiologist had suggested that they put in a pacemaker/defibrillator. Daddy called to see what I thought and while I wasn't sure, he was excited and thought this would give him a better shot at a longer life (as they had figured out his heart would beat at 180, go to 70, then go to 30, then stop, and start the cycle all over again). Unfortunately, God decided that it was time for Daddy to come before the surgery could even be performed. We discussed his having the surgery at the beginning of the week and by that Thursday I received a call from the hospital telling me they didn't think that he would make it through the night! I felt horribly guilty that I who having my own crisis couldn't be there with him.....he was not only my Daddy, but my best friend!!!! I was able to talk with him, however he could not even respond to me at this point. I feel very guilty because I asked him to hang in there until I could be with him, unfortunately (or fortunately) God decided that the 23rd of February was his day to be reunited with my Mom whom he had missed for the last 9 years and his father whom he lost 41 years ago. I attempted to plan his funeral while being in a "drugged" state and was unable to attend. I just have to have faith that God knew what he was doing and there was a reason that I was not meant to be there with him or attend the funeral. The grieving processes is so different for me this time, and much harder than when I lost my Mom. On several occasions I have picked up the phone to call, dialed the number only to realize that he is not there. We are going to go back to Iowa over Memorial weekend to go through things and get as much ready for the auction as we can.
I am continuing to get better, but have a long road ahead as the hip and leg pain make sitting for more than 5-10 minutes almost unbearable (thank goodness I have such a wonderful husband who bought us a laptop so I could try and stay in touch with the outside world). I have been able to finally return to church which has helped my disposition very much plus a 72 pound weight loss - not a diet I would recommend, but it has given me the motivation to keep going, I have another 25-30 to take off.
Monday we go see the Neurosurgeon and hopefully get one final MRI and a clean bill of health and something to help with the leg/hip pain so that I can return to work....please pray that all goes well.
Now on to the kids......they are so wonderful. They were all very effected by my being taken in an ambulance the last time. Darryl has been wonderful and been so very helpful when I wasn't able to be there for them. He turned 15 in April and we had a great family party at my Sister-in-law's house with most of his Aunts, Uncles and Cousins there. Darryl made it to state solo/ensemble with his Oboe Solo and performs that next Saturday while Rachel and I (not much working for me) work the major fundraiser for the Band Boosters. Darryl had his best report card since I have been a part of his life....I was so proud of him, he still has a little room for improvement, but he really worked hard and it showed. Rachel's grades continue to be exceptional, she is so driven for almost being 13! She is going to be performing a voice solo during the end of year concert and not only playing 1st chair flute, but has been asked to play with the 7th grade also. She also found out that she is going to be able to be in the color guard for the marching band, so now we not only have one at the tune of $250, but 2, which equals $500, but Russell and I are committed to making sure that they can participate because it is something that is important to both of them, plus Mom is the Treasurer for the Booster Organization. Isaac, well he is still lovable Isaac. Being 7 with a 15 yr. old and almost 13th yr. old isn't easy. In fact this week we finally figured it out that Isaac will still be in grade school when Darryl graduates from high school. He loves to be outside and could really care less about school. He is so much like his Iowa Papa. In fact, I have some pictures of my Daddy as a little boy and with the exception of the clothes he is almost a spitting image of him. Only if we could afford a real John Deere tractor he would be the happiest boy on earth!
I cannot begin to express how much of a wonderful husband I have.....I thank God everyday for leading us together. Without him every that we have been through as a family these past few months would have been impossible. He is the love of my life and even though tomorrow is Mother's Day, for a long time he played both roles and took a college class! He did a fabulous job and feel like tomorrow is just as much about him as it is me, since I wasn't much of a mom for a few months.
Russell, in case you read this I want you to know that I love you with every ounce of my being and feel very lucky that you are my husband and mate for life. Without you I am nothing, plus you have given me a large family that I adore and love with all my heart, and who have accepted me and treat me so well. Your family is very special to me. Plus, you came with a wonderful son whom I just adore and love like he is my very own! I LOVE YOU RUSSELL - Happy Mother's Day, because were both Mom and Dad when I couldn't be.
Sorry this post is so long and seemed to ramble, but it seemed as if the Lord was urging me to put my feelings into words to help me and make me a better Mom and Wife! Also, a huge thank you to all of those who prayed for me and my family.
To all my fellow family, friends and bloggers who read this HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
Love,
Tina
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Long Overdue Update
Hi Everyone,
I am sorry it has been so long since I last posted. I however have been in the hospital for 7 days. We went for my Neurosurgeon appointment to have the staples removed only have them tell my to go directly to the ER and that I would be admitted, since I had managed to get an infection (guess) I ginxed myself on the last post.
We went to the ER on Tuesday, and it took them several hours to have a bed ready for me. They immediately started drawing blood and doing cultures. Also during this time I had one of the worst headaches I have ever experienced in my life. On Wednesday morning, they came to get me at 7:00 AM to do a quick cat scan of my head to see if they could figure out what was causing the headache and then took me off to surgery. I didn't even have time to call Russell for him to get there. While I was in pre-op, it was the anethesiologist who put the pieces of the puzzle together and identified that my potassium was very low and that could be what was causing my headache, so with potassium therapy my headache started to go away. The Neurosurgeon did a I&D (Incision and Drainage) on my back. Thankfully the infection had not gotten too far in my incision, but unfortunately I had managed to get bacteria into my bloodstream. I now had a Neurosurgeion and an Infectious Disease doctor coordinating my care. On Wednesday after surgery a pic line was put in my left upper arm and I continued to get 2 different IV antibiotics and blood draws on a regular basis (but those went really well since I had the pic line).
On Monday, I was finally discharged, but that took over 4 hours as the nurse had others that were having significant issues so I kept getting pushed down on the list. I am so happy to be home even though we are continuing the IV Therapy here. Once a week I go to the Infusion Therapy office for the dressing to be changed on my pic line and pick up new supplies. I get 3 doses of my IV antibiotic a day ( 7 AM/3 PM/11 PM). I have to continue this therapy for 6 weeks.
Please say a quick prayer that that IV therapy continues to work, as I don't really want to go back to the hospital anytime soon!!!
Russell and the kids are doing great considering all the extra drama I have provided. Russell has been so wonderful through all this and encouraging as my progress previously made, went out the window. They (me included) are just happy that I am back home. I really missed being with my family for those 7 days and being 45 minutes away.
Hope you are all doing well and surviving the weather.
Tina
I am sorry it has been so long since I last posted. I however have been in the hospital for 7 days. We went for my Neurosurgeon appointment to have the staples removed only have them tell my to go directly to the ER and that I would be admitted, since I had managed to get an infection (guess) I ginxed myself on the last post.
We went to the ER on Tuesday, and it took them several hours to have a bed ready for me. They immediately started drawing blood and doing cultures. Also during this time I had one of the worst headaches I have ever experienced in my life. On Wednesday morning, they came to get me at 7:00 AM to do a quick cat scan of my head to see if they could figure out what was causing the headache and then took me off to surgery. I didn't even have time to call Russell for him to get there. While I was in pre-op, it was the anethesiologist who put the pieces of the puzzle together and identified that my potassium was very low and that could be what was causing my headache, so with potassium therapy my headache started to go away. The Neurosurgeon did a I&D (Incision and Drainage) on my back. Thankfully the infection had not gotten too far in my incision, but unfortunately I had managed to get bacteria into my bloodstream. I now had a Neurosurgeion and an Infectious Disease doctor coordinating my care. On Wednesday after surgery a pic line was put in my left upper arm and I continued to get 2 different IV antibiotics and blood draws on a regular basis (but those went really well since I had the pic line).
On Monday, I was finally discharged, but that took over 4 hours as the nurse had others that were having significant issues so I kept getting pushed down on the list. I am so happy to be home even though we are continuing the IV Therapy here. Once a week I go to the Infusion Therapy office for the dressing to be changed on my pic line and pick up new supplies. I get 3 doses of my IV antibiotic a day ( 7 AM/3 PM/11 PM). I have to continue this therapy for 6 weeks.
Please say a quick prayer that that IV therapy continues to work, as I don't really want to go back to the hospital anytime soon!!!
Russell and the kids are doing great considering all the extra drama I have provided. Russell has been so wonderful through all this and encouraging as my progress previously made, went out the window. They (me included) are just happy that I am back home. I really missed being with my family for those 7 days and being 45 minutes away.
Hope you are all doing well and surviving the weather.
Tina
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